A wise man once said that looking after guests is harder than looking after your children. So much fussier, so much more demanding, and so much more needy.
We are human and we are fallible, so shut the fuck up. We are aware of the mistakes we make, we are aware of our bad habits, we are aware that we hate ourselves for these things. You need not hate us for them too. Please hate me for my skin colour or my political views. Give me shit for my dreadful writing style. Abuse me on the street for my choice of fashion or sexuality. Those things are easy for me to brush off, I have fun with them.
Reminding us of things we dislike about ourselves suck because we agree. A topic I am in disagreement with you is substantially more enjoyable to debate! Give me a challenge and give me enthralling, enrapturing content to regale people with at a later date.
How I love to argue old world vs new world. Do you peel onions for stocks? Pineapple pizza? Chocolate and wine? Jam or clotted cream first? Chicken or the egg?
Thor tried to teach us all about the art of being a good host and an even better guest. I implore people to experience what the host is offering.
Never demand; the don’t ask don’t get rule will never exist with a good host. We must converse, finding likes and dislikes and accommodating appropriately. We craft our 12 hour days to make as many people as happy as possible, this is love to us. But some of your creature comforts are actually terribly insulting to us on a very personal level. How dare you ask for orange juice!? Name me the closest citrus grove or even town not covered in snow!
Take a moment to check out your surroundings and ask the right questions about the right things, let us take you in and show you we can look after you with something that actually is not new or innovative but as old as society itself. It will give you a family status with us all that means ‘when you’re here, you’re family’, thanks Olive Garden or Jimmy or whomever.